" Keep you elbow up!!!" "Left, right, left Sally" "Get low, get low - Jamie!!!".... All things one would expect to hear shouted at a girl's volleyball tournament right? I know, I know-- "Cmon coach that's an easy one!!" Im sure this is what you are all saying. But what if I asked you who was shouting those things? How sure are you that you know the correct answer then? Im sure most of you would give me the answer that it is the coaches yelling these things, right? And you'd be right, but you'd also be wrong! Because its not just the coaches that are saying these things, its the parents as well. Now we all know that they mean well but lets look
at what really is happening in this situation.....

Tina is having a rough day, she's not passing well and has made 5 hitting errors in the first game of the day. Coach calls a timeout and pulls Tina aside for a chat... "Great job Tina, your playing awesome defense!!! Keep
hustling out there!! When you get back out there I want you to try 2 things for me ok? Break on the serve a little faster in serve receive and make sure you are really reaching with that left arm while your hitting, that'll help
you keep the ball out of the net." Keep working hard, your doing fine." Tina looks at her coach, says thanks and head back to the court with a fresh confidence and two specific things to work on in the match that will help get
her out of her current slump, she has a focus. The team breaks from their huddle and heads back to the court, "Tina!!, Tina!!!" Tina turns and makes eye contact with someone resembling her mother of 15 years...see, she looks a lot like her mother but this woman's hair is standing on end, her face is beet red and she is frothing at the mouth... "Square yourself to the ball better!! That's why your screwing up in serve receive!!! And stop swinging
away every time, tip to the middle!!!!" Tina nod's respectfully at her mother, her shoulders slump and everything her coach just discussed with her is forgotten like the latest boy-band. Tina gets into serve receive, the opposing coach serves her short in the 4 zone, Tina breaks late on the ball and passes it into the net......

Now of course the situation I described above is an exaggeration, but I think you get the point. As parents you have a great deal of influence on your athlete and your team during competition. I am going to provide a checklist of guidelines you as parents may like to try and follow during tournaments.

1. Keep all cheering positive
2. Do not 'instruct' your athlete (even if you yourself are a coach - unless you are a coach on that team... that's a whole other article)
3. Try to sit or stand somewhere where you can have a good clear view of the court but far enough away that you are nor readily visible to your athlete... I like to call it "be heard, not seen".. i.e. you shouldn't be standing 3 ft from the end line or behind your coaches bench.
4. If you are not happy with something your coach is doing DO NOT use that day as the time to discuss this with him/her. Wait until the next day. Call or email them.
5. Never yell at or verbally abuse your coach in anyway --- even if you are enraged -- please remember your current setting and that there is a time and place for everything - and a tournament is definitely not the place. Yes even in an off hallway or stairwell.
6. Offer to do things for the team... i.e, take lunch orders, offer to wash uniforms at multi-day tourneys... make dinner reservations, plan outings, etc.
7. Make sure you are cheering for your team, not just your athlete.
8. Don't bicker with other parents on your team, kids notice this stuff and IT DOES effect the team, believe it. If you don't care for each other, ignore each other.
9. Be a fan of your CLUB, ask your coach how the other age groups and teams are doing.
10. SUPPORT YOUR COACH, no matter how the team is playing. Remember they certainly are not getting rich doing this and care about your athletes quite a bit. They have a lot of time and energy invested in this and a kind word can go a LONG way.

- Coach Rob