He hit it on the nails! I could not agree more! So often we look at our children at the moment, and not what we are teaching them about life...........

I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting Art, but I like him already!

Art summed it up best in his closing where he made it clear that although he's been around the block and back several times, he is still surprised by the things that happen every year. I will never again say that I am surprised at what things happen every year in youth athletics. It is many times surreal.

I think every coach would be wise to never underestimate the potential for destruction that a protective parent has, when they lose perspective.

Disclaimer - I do dearly care for many of the parents in my program, but it is for these reasons that Art covers, that many coaches will tend to keep the parents an extra arms length away. It is always my goal that at the end of the season, we coaches and parents can share an embrace and a handshake at the wonderful experience their child has gone through (good times AND bad). Until that time, everything is a part of the growing/learning process, and parents should let their coaches do what they do best. With good coaches, things will make sense in the end. With bad coaches? Well, hopefully, you knew if they were good before the season began!

i love it when a coach or anyone for that matter in the vball community stops with all the lip service and tells something the way it is.... and i do dare say--great minds think alike!!! check out the article i posted on my club's site 2 days ago!!!!!

Sums it up perfectly! I found myself reading and saying out loud to myself...I know...that's so true....mmm hmmm...yep....seen that, etc. I am going to go read it again!
Would parents be offended if I print and handout??? HA I would not go that far but I wish I could.

Article, clash link

Great message - I'm just one momma, but was not offended at all......this could be an "if the shoe fits, wear it" type article - as far as it offending anyone - it actually caused me to appreciate my team's parents even more than I already did - I thought them just about perfect, but this confirmed it.

THe link from clash was good, too- it explained things in non-confrontational manner-great explanation of why a parent shouldn't coach from the sidelines.

Funny about the timing - I was thinking about just this type of thing this weekend at a tourney-as team after team came through on our court and the parental groups, along with their attitudes and frequency of vague instructions from the bleachers.....do they really think it's helpful to scream out "get TO the ball" to some gal that's obviously trying her best? .....Someday I expect the player to look over and say "THanks - I didn't know that I was supposed to do that".... ANd what's the deal about whooping and hollering wildly like your team accomplished something awesome when the opposing team hits one out or in the net?? Thought about starting a "things parents do that drive me crazy" thread, but figured it would get ugly.

Great article-keep 'em coming

Great Article!

Enjoyed both articles-and would love permission to reprint the clash article on our club website.

Hey John, how about a point/counterpoint article. Coach and Parent perspective. I have not yet seen an article written by a parent that addresses some of our issues and concerns. We are not all raving lunatics who look at our daughters through rose colored glasses. Well, not all the time, anyway!

feel free....

buckeyevb-

feel free to use my article... what club are you with? is this sean, formerly of bava? if it is--email me about that kid we talked about awhile back--shes legit....

Stanford

When was Art the coach there? Fred Sturm was the 70's then his asst Don Shaw took over. How old is Art?

Re: Stanford

According to his resume, Lambert coached Stanford's program in the first year of its existence

I am printing it out as we speak...

It has now become required reading for my team!

article response

Nothing drives me nuts more than sitting in the stands hearing someone yell out "come on, you've got to want it" What? are they kidding? Which girl doesn't want to win or to play well? I have to disagree with the water bottles though - she might be saving me thousands of dollars in the future - I don't find it a problem to fill a water bottle between matches when they don't have a break. When she gets to college - there will be water sitting there provided for her - she doesn't have to run off between games and fill a bottle up! It's the least a parent can do as a supportive measure. I also have to disagree with not attending games. I played volleyball for 30 years, I enjoy the game and even watch teams my daughter doesn't play for. Why would I want to miss her game? It is about her, but I also count here and would like to see the games I want to see!

Re: article response

My sense is the girls want their folks there. Not next to them at a Saturday night movie, but at a volleyball tourney? Sure. College will come quickly enough for us parents and the bonding and memory making opportunities will diminish. Better to take advantage of them now.

Games and practices

Games and practices are going to be viewed differently. Parents in the gym at a practice are a definite distraction to a player and a detriment to team development, with some parents. I can tell you that a majority of the troubled kids I've had, were frequently missing parents at their games. This support is key for some players. So game attendance isn't necessarily a bad thing if parent are supportive. However, kids develop dependencies on their parents being there is obviously a bad thing in team sports.

I hope my kids appreciate when I am at their games, but are strong enough to never NEED me there for survival.

Stay at home dad?

Legitimizing missing your kids games by telling your kid its about their personal growth is kinda sad. I think someone just did not want to miss the latest episode of All in the Family.

parents in attendance

My daughter is my youngest. I basically missed her childhood and to some extent so did she as it was a very busy time and she spent much of it in a carseat while I hauled her older siblings around from one activity to another and did my share of volunteering and helping out where needed. Now that the older ones are grown, I have these last couple of years to enjoy my daughter before she too flies away. I do not coach from the sidelines but if I miss her One Great Block of The Very Long Day, she is disappointed. This is her time to shine and show us what she can do that we can't do. She wants us there and as long as that's true, we'll be there. We are not living through her, we are enjoying her while she is still with us. Yes, we do our own lives but she is part of our lives right now, and soon enough we'll have plenty of time to go fishing and play golf when she isn't.

Re: parents in attendance

I assumed that what he was referring to was parents that are a distraction at practice (or games) ....

You know the ones...they hover a bit too closely, make faces, grimace, roll their eyes, etc....some even pretend to be there to shag balls but try to interject advice periodically....

I'm at most of my kiddos practices - viewing from afar in a parental spot that's put there so as not intrude - sometimes I watch from my perch - it helps me appreciate all the hard work & intricate footwork that goes into timing the "fancy" set/hits - if you only see the end result, it's hard to realize how hard it is to get to that point - or how really hard they do work - other times I read a magazine or the newspaper - with no TV, phone, or other interruptions - it's a relaxing time that I look forward to twice a week.

I make 99% of her tournaments and enjoy them immensely - but I can honestly say I don't think we ever so much as even make eye contact during the games - the team is in their "zone" and I'd never try to intrude. I get to sit back and watch this wonderful group of athletes working in unison-the last thing I'd want to do is interrupt their focus.

Yup...I just checked the website, it looks like 1977..the second year in existence.

I basically agree with what was mentioned in the article and will keep these points in the back of my head at tourneys. I do have to make exception to attending practices. I like to watch my kid on the floor because at tourneys she sometimes doesn't get in the games so practice may be the only time I get to watch her learn and improve. It also gives me someplace to be after our 110 minute commute. I also "sit on my perch" and don't make any comments but I should get an opportunity to watch my kid play, even if it is only practice.